Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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