I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Someone shit on the floor
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
try to milk me bitch
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