I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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