The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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