The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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