I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm both gender and math confused
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
