I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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