if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
