there's paper in my vomit.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
