your room smells of hookers.
And success
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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