Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
No I am not eating basil off your cock
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
