it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
