jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
