I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize