Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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