Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize