Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
