I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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