someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Randomize
