Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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