its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Found your dick twin last night
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
