If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
