If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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