Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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