Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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