Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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