Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just got carded by a ten year old.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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