I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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