Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
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