at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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