Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
