hotel room ftw
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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