Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
