i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
