i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
