You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
