i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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