It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
i think i just lost a toe
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
