Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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