i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize