If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
