someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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