The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
