first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
