Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
