Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
