Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
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