He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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