The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
