smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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